So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
