Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
