when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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