dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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