Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
you win again, gameday.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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