You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
