I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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