Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
