If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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