You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
