Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
