Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
