You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
