we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
So many bounce houses so little time
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
