the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
