This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize