You don't have asthma, your pregnant
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
