there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
