physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
