Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
