He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize