Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize