I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
