honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
