Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
