Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
