we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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