you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
