Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
this is an emotional support booty call
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
