Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
