I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
