The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
