just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
