I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Never let your siblings swipe right.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
