He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Say something about gay babies.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
