I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
