Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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