well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
