I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Randomize