On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize