I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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