you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Randomize
