It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
