to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
The beer is more important than you right now.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Randomize