I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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