You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
