So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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