Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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