So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
