Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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