apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
