You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
