And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize