your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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