I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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