Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Randomize