season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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