did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
