so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
