Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
