I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Randomize
